The Truth
by Wonder and Ashes
Summary: Spike decides to try and split Buffy and Riley apart as part of his plan in "The Yoko Factor". Oneshot.


**Disclaimer** : All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Story Notes** : I know I should be working on my other stories, but I watched "The Yoko Factor" today...and ended up getting mad at Buffy for ignoring the blatant warning signs that her relationship with Riley isn't working, got mad at possibly the _worst_ line ever written in a script (and of course it was said by Riley; guess which one it is) and thoroughly enjoyed Riley and Angel beating the crap out of each other. The experience led to this story. It's another challenge response and actually one I've been planning to answer for a while, but I never got the incentive to write it until now.

* * *

"Slayer? Slayer?"

It's a voice I really don't wanna wake up to, because who would want to open their eyes and be blinded by peroxide blonde?

But what is Spike doing in my room anyway? Even though he has an invite, he knows better; one step in my room adds a stake and equals a dusty end.

But it doesn't _feel_ like my room. The surface beneath me is too hard to be my bed, and the air is a little chilly…

It all comes rushing back to me. Patrol, Forrest, caves, Adam, the gun, Forrest dead…

Oh god, what am I gonna tell Riley?

My eyes snap open and I sit upright. I'm still in the woods near the campus, where I tripped and fell in my rush to get as far away from Adam as I could.

"You know, this isn't the best place to take a nap, Slayer," says Spike. He's crouched down next to me, taking a long drag from the cigarette in his mouth. "You're lucky a nasty didn't come by and take a bite out of you."

I groan, my fingers finding the cut on my head. The bleeding has stopped but I'm still covered in dry blood. Gross. "Why didn't you set up a landmark pointing out where I am? Or better yet, why didn't you drink from this?" I gesture to my healing wound.

He shrugs. "If I'm gonna stay un-dead instead of _dead_ -dead, I need to be on good terms with you. Gettin' you killed and drinkin' from you ain't the best way to go about that. I'm not bloody stupid, Slayer."

"Could've fooled me." I pull myself to my feet, and I almost topple over again from the blood loss but Spike catches me and lets me lean on him. It's unnatural and my skin is crawling just from being close to him, but he's got a point; they're lots of demons about, especially now since Adam is looking to make his next move, and walking around like this alone isn't the best idea. The first rule of slaying is don't die.

Even if you have to rely on your former mortal enemy. It's not like I haven't done it before.

We get back to my dorm and he helps me inside. "Where's the first aid kit?" he asks as he eases me onto the bed.

"Under my bed." He bends down to get it before placing it onto the bed next to me. I open it and start to lay out the bits I'll need.

"So what happened?" Spike asks.

I'm about to snap back with my usual 'It's none of your business now get out before I drop you out headfirst', but I bite my tongue. He did help me back to my room, so I guess I owe him for that. "Adam. I was patrolling the caves when we ran into him."

"We?"

"Forrest, one of Riley's friends," I explain. "I told him to leave but he wouldn't, and look where that got him. He's dead." I hang my head. I know Forrest and I didn't exactly get along, but he was still a human and he died on my watch. Maybe if I had been faster, done something differently…

"Don't blame yourself, Slayer," says Spike. "You asked the wanker to leave, and he didn't. He's a soldier; he knew what he was gettin' himself into."

Part of me knows that Spike is right – there're two words I never thought I'd hear in the same sentence; 'Spike' and 'right' – but another part of me can't help but feel guilty. It's part of the Slayer package; guilt for the people I couldn't save.

Kind of like Angel's soul.

There's a knock at the door, and I call out, "Come in!" before I think it through. What if it's a vampire? I've just granted him or her entrance to my room. Willow made that mistake with Spike, and I've just made the same one. I mean, I can probably handle whoever it is, but…

And hey, it may not even be a vampire at all…

Oh, it is. But not one who'll eat me.

I'm still not happy to see him, though. "Angel?"

Angel pauses in the doorway, looking between me and Spike. "Buffy, what's Spike doing here?" He crosses the room, and while Spike backs away with his arms raised innocently, I stand and get in between them. "He hurt you!" Angel's eyes narrow when he spots my cut, and I notice the moment he starts to get twitchy. He's always like this whenever I bleed around him.

"This wasn't him," I say. "And I told you before that Spike can't hurt people now; he's got a government chip in his head."

Angel snarls. "That doesn't give him the right to be in your room."

"Only when she needs help," says Spike. "Which is what I'm tryin' to do here, Peaches. She took a nasty fall outside and I was only helpin' with the patch up."

"And since when did _you_ help Slayers?" Angel demands, glaring.

Spike glares back. "Since two years ago when _you_ decided to end the bloody world."

"Stop!" I tell them before things get out of hand. "Both of you, stop. Angel, Spike's telling the truth. I got hurt earlier and he helped me back here. And Spike, could you please step outside so I can talk to Angel alone?"

"I will as soon as he tells me who he hit and why?" asks Spike with a smirk.

Angel averts his gaze to the floor, and for the first time I notice that he looks pretty beat up, but not badly. He's been fighting. "Angel, what happened?"

"I…" he begins hesitantly. "I…ran into a wall."

Spike chuckles. "Did this wall happen to be made of corn and cardboard?"

Before I can ask Spike what he means by that Riley bursts into the room with his gun drawn and looking even worse than Angel. It adds up what happened.

Seriously? These two had a fight? And what's Angel even doing here, anyway? And I thought Riley was keeping a low profile?

Spike laughs. I'm glad _someone_ finds this funny.

Riley points his gun at Angel. "I told you…not to go near her." He turns and spots Spike, so points the gun at him. "You, too?!" The gun gets pointed at Angel, then Spike, then Angel again. "You don't have a chip. I'll kill you first."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!" I look between the two of them before I settle for glaring at Angel. "This is why you came?" What is it with Angel and his inability to stay out of my life?

"No, this was an accident," says Angel.

Spike's eyebrow rises. "So Cardboard's face ran into your fist? That's not an accident, that's a plan. A mighty hilarious one; if I knew you planned on doin' this, I would've bought front row seats."

"Spike, you're really not helping," I tell him. Even though I kinda agree with him, because seeing Angel and Riley throw down could actually have been fun to watch. And did I really just think that? I turn back to Angel. "Please, explain this to me."

Angel just turns back to Riley. "Put that gun down."

"It's pretty much all I've got left," says Riley. He hasn't even looked at me since he entered the room. Does he even know I'm hurt? "So I'm thinking not."

"Should I inconveniently remind you that all guns do to vamps is aggravate us?" says Spike.

Riley ignores him. "He attacked four of my men, Buffy. He's up to his old tricks."

Spike laughs. Why is he laughing?

"He won't hurt anyone," I say. "Tell him, Angel."

But of course Angel has to make things worse. "I might hurt _you_."

"Please try."

"You can barely stand."

"Trigger finger works OK."

"You actually _sleep_ with this guy?"

 _Punch!_

Spike laughs some more.

I get in between the two of them and push them both apart. Riley hits the bookcase while Angel falls onto Willow's bed.

And Spike is _still_ laughing. Jerk.

"That's enough!" I tell the pair. "If I see one more display of testosterone, I'll personally put you _both_ in the hospital! Anybody think I'm exaggerating?"

"Say 'yes'," Spike speaks up. "I wanna see this."

I kind of want them to say 'yes', too.

Angel almost pushes it by saying, "He started it," but I silence him with a pointed finger.

"Doesn't matter who bloody started it; the Slayer will finish it," says Spike. He turns to me. "And did you not catch what the wanker said?"

"Which one?"

"Cardboard," he continues. "He said that Peaches over there is up to his old tricks. What does that imply?"

"That he's turned into Angelus again," I say. What's Spike getting at?

"And how does Captain Forehead turn into Captain 'I'm-Gonna-Destroy-The-World'?"

That's easy and he knows it. Spike was there when it happened. "When I sleep…with…him." It sinks in. But…that doesn't add up. "But I never told Riley that."

"The Whelp did," says Spike. "He mentioned it to me while he was deliverin' my commando costume. Your boy toy soldier could've been excused for the mistake if he didn't know, but since he does…"

Oh my god. He actually thought that I…

"Buffy, don't…"

Before Riley can finish I turn and slap him, holding back at the last minute. "Did you just accuse me of _cheating_ on you?!"

"It's not like that!" he pleads. "I just wanted you safe-"

"You wanted me…" I roll my eyes. "I can handle myself! I sent Angel to Hell once; I wouldn't have any trouble doing it to him again!" Out of the corner of my eye I see Angel go to protest, and I point a finger at him again to shut him up. "How…how can you even _think_ that, Riley?!"

"You didn't tell me the full story," says Riley. "And when Xander filled in the gaps, I started asking myself why. You went to help him, then you come back feeling…weird and closed off. What else was I supposed to think?"

"That I'm your girlfriend and that we should be able to _trust_ each other!"

"Well, I'm sorry if I went a little nuts!" he yells. "I know I should trust you, but things can happen between girls and their exes-"

 _Boy_ , is he digging himself into a deeper hole. "So, what? You think I'm emotionally incompetent enough to sleep with him again and put everyone I care about in danger?!"

"Yes!" His eyes widen. "I mean, no! No! But…"

He tries to reach out for me but I take a step back. "Angel, take Spike and wait outside."

Angel hesitates for a moment, but he does as asked and surprisingly so does Spike. "You wanna bet on how long these two last?" I hear Spike say as the door closes behind them.

I push Riley down onto the bed and stand before him. We really need to talk, and if we can't get past this… "Have I ever given you any reason not to trust me?"

He sighs. "You don't always tell me the truth. I feel like part of you is holding back on me; like you're not giving me your all. So yeah, sometimes I feel that way."

"Well, I'm sorry," I say. "But that still doesn't give you the right to make an accusation like that. Why with the crazy?"

"Because I'm so in love with you I can't think straight."

You know, if we had been having a nice talk, those words would have melted my heart. But right now, when I'm mad at him and we're arguing? I see the bigger picture. And it's not one I like.

"If you really loved me, then you would've _trusted_ me," I say. "You wouldn't have let jealousy get to you. You wouldn't have accused me of cheating. Behaviour like that is always the first sign that there're problems. And…I think we have a problem, Riley."

He frowns. "We have a problem? Why do we suddenly have a problem now?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe because you accused me of cheating on you with my ex-boyfriend, and then acted like it's something I would do because I'm a girl and therefore I'm "emotionally incompetent"!" I roll my eyes. "God, this is just like the time you didn't think I could handle myself because I'm a girl."

"That was _before_ I knew you're the Slayer!"

"But that doesn't change what you think!" I tell him. "I don't even know why I gave you a chance after that!"

"Then why did you?"

I pause. Why did I?

Because I wanted to move on from Angel and show everyone I could. Because Willow and Xander said it would be good for me. Because I needed someone around.

Only now am I seeing what's really been going on. Riley's a rebound guy. I was never really that interested in him, and I only started dating him because Willow encouraged me to. But the truth is I never felt anything with him. I wanted to, but the fire and the passion was never there. He was just…convenient.

I don't love him. I'm not even sure I _like_ him.

Riley's not someone I want to be with. I don't think I could ever be with someone who treats me like this; getting jealous over nothing and excusing it as "getting crazy because it's love". Love shouldn't be about that. Love is trust, commitment and closeness, and I've never felt any of that with Riley. I realize that I need to end this now, because otherwise it won't ever end and I'll be stuck in a relationship I never even wanted to begin with.

I sigh. It's not going to be easy. "I don't know," I answer his question. "But…I realize now that we really don't have that much in common, Riley. I told you that before, and you didn't listen. We have to be more than 'we fight demons, let's do it together', and the truth is, I don't think we can be that. I've been fooling myself, pretending that you're the right guy for me to try and make myself happy and my friends happy, but I'm tired of doing that."

"You're…" Realization spreads across his face. "You're breaking up with me."

"I'm sorry, Riley," I tell him. "But if you can't respect me enough to trust me when I go to help out my ex-boyfriend – if just the thought of it drives you crazy – then we really can't work. I can make a whole list of reasons why we can't work, but I'd rather you just leave. It'll be easier."

It looks like he's going to protest, but instead he adopts a hard look and rises to his feet. "I think you're making a mistake…but I won't argue. If you change your mind you know where I'll be." He leaves, slamming the door against the wall just as hard as when he burst in here five minutes ago.

I sigh. I don't feel any heartbreak or pain; it goes to show that I really wasn't feeling it with him.

When I hear Spike yell something insulting at my departing ex-boyfriend, I remember that he and Angel are still waiting outside. I walk out into the hall and find them both leaning against opposite walls. I'm surprised they didn't start a fight out here. Spike can hit demons, after all.

"Good bloody riddance," Spike says.

I turn to Angel. "What are you doing here? Cut right to the chase; I don't have time for long explanations."

"Buffy, I came to apologize," he replies. "I couldn't leave things like that. Riley's men jumped me, and they didn't really seem willing to give me the benefit of the doubt."

"Picking up a phone would've been better."

"I know, but I had to see you-"

I hold up my hand to stop him. "OK, so let me get this straight: I come to see you – to _help_ you – and you treat me like crap. And then you order me out of _your_ city, but you think you have the _right_ to come prancing around _my_ town?! I would _really_ like to know what the _hell_ you're trying to pull!"

"I'm not trying to pull anything!"

"Really? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you are!" I yell. "This isn't even the first time you've done this! Or have you forgotten last Thanksgiving when you came to help me – even though I didn't _need_ it – and thought you had the right to go stalking me behind my back and without even asking me if you could?!"

"It was to protect you. And I didn't think you'd be able to stand seeing me."

"But I don't _need_ protecting! And I can sure as hell handle seeing you!" It hits me that he's doing exactly the same thing as Riley; not respecting the fact that I can handle myself. Do they not get it?! "You left because we couldn't work, and you still think you have the right to pull this crap on me?! We don't live in each other's worlds anymore. And neither of us have the right to barge in on each other to make judgements. I shouldn't come barging into your town – even though you _invited_ me – but it works both ways. You should be able to respect me enough to know that I can pull myself together long enough to be around you for longer than five minutes. And you should know, better than anyone, that I can handle myself when the going gets tough."

He nods. "I know you can."

"Then why did you ask the Oracles to change you back?"

His eyes widen.

Spike looks puzzled. I forgot he was still here. "What's that?"

"Angel got turned into a human," I explain. "We…spent the day together before he asked to be changed back. He did it because he hated being weak and felt that he needed to "protect" me – even though _I_ was the one saving _his_ sorry ass!"

"It was for the people we needed to protect!"

"Well, I'm sorry if I find that hard to believe, because you made it an awful lot about me," I tell him. "You and Riley are the same; neither of you seem to respect that I can handle myself, both physically and emotionally. You both hate it, don't you? That I'm stronger than you?"

"It's not like that-"

"If it wasn't like that then you wouldn't be here," I tell him. "Go home, Angel. We're done here. And unless there's an apocalypse brewing, I don't want to see you here. And if one is, pick up the phone and call me, or I'll call you. But until then…just stay away."

He looks hurt, and maybe I'm being too harsh on him, but unless he learns that he can't barge into Sunnydale like this he's never going to stop doing it. And just straight up forgiving him like I did last time will just make things worse. I need to stop giving him a clean slate just because he used to be my boyfriend.

With a dejected sigh he turns to go, but only gets a few steps before he stops and turns back to me. "How did you…?"

"Remember the day you took back?" I finish. "I didn't remember right away like you did. I had a dream later that night. Guess the Powers wanted me to know exactly what you did. I think it's better that way."

He nods. "I get it. Goodbye, Buffy." And then he really does leave, and I watch him go until he turns the corner.

Leaving me and Spike alone.

"And a good bloody riddance to him, too."

"Why are you still here?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Gotta get my entertainment somewhere. Now do you believe me? That you have a tragic taste in men?"

I want to hit him for saying that, but he's right. I have a horrible taste in men. Why do I go for the ones who look really nice on the outside but on the inside are just typical guys who don't respect the fact that girls can be stronger than them?

"All men are the same," I say. "Even Xander. He's gonna be deader than dead for blabbing in the first place."

"But if he hadn't, then you wouldn't be rid of Cardboard," says Spike. "Don't get me wrong; you should still pound on the Whelp – and if you do, tell me when and where so I can get a front row seat – but he probably saved you from a life of white picket fences and 2.5 screamin' kids."

"That's what I wanted," I say. "I mean, I _think_ I wanted that."

"Did you really?" he asks, and I realize that he's right on that account. "And even if you do, you're never gonna get it. You're the Slayer, and you're not a normal girl whether you like it or not. You're never gonna have a normal life. Deludin' yourself about that will only get your nearest and dearest killed or worse. The vampires and demons won't stop comin' just 'cause you want to retire and settle down."

He's right, but I don't want him to be. That normal life Angel and Mom want for me doesn't exist; I can't have it, and honestly, I never wanted it to begin with. I never wanted normal.

I never wanted Riley.

"Saying that and accepting that are, like, two completely different things," I say. "And one's harder than the other."

"Start by leavin' your vacation in Egypt and actually look at the world around you." Spike takes out a cigarette – what happened to the one he was smoking when he found me? – and prepares to light it up. I tap on the 'no smoking' sign hanging in the hallway but he ignores it. "I think the Watcher wants to meet with you. Red's go the data I stole and they're formin' a plan."

I nod. "Thanks for the help."

"No need to bother with that, Slayer," he says. "The Watcher already paid me." He walks away in the same direction as both my ex-boyfriends.

I watch him go. "I wasn't thanking you for that."

* * *

My first thought is that Spike set us all up and I need to get to Riley and apologize to him; take back everything I said.

The battle is over and Riley's helping Graham with his injuries. It gives me time to think, and the more I recall what happened between us, the more I realize that it wasn't Spike's fault.

Sure, he said some things which got us arguing in the first place, but he didn't create the problems between us. He didn't make Riley go crazy jealous over Angel. He didn't convince Angel to come and apologize to me, nor did he tell Angel to come and stalk me at Thanksgiving.

Their lack of respect for me is entirely their fault, and Spike had nothing to do with that. All he did was point it out to me because I was too blind to see it.

I didn't want to see it, because I wanted things to be perfect. I wanted to ignore all the problems in my life in hopes that they'd go away on their own. I knew Angel always had issues, but I didn't want to see them because I loved him. I knew Riley wasn't the perfect match for me, but I ignored that because I wanted to move on, and he was normal and everyone wanted me to date a normal guy. In trying to make everyone else happy, I wasn't making myself happy.

But I wanted to pretend that I was.

I look over at my friends again; Giles is holding Spike by the shoulder, and Willow and Xander are in a heated discussion. They're arguing over whether or not to stake Spike; I can hear them from here. Xander thinks we should, but Willow isn't sure.

I walk over to them. "Guys?"

"Buffy! The voice of reason!" Xander looks relieved. "We should stake Spike, right? I know he was helpful during the fight, but he tried to trick us."

"But he also saved us, and we kinda owe him for that," says Willow.

"I say it is up to Buffy," says Giles, his grip tightening on Spike's shoulder. From looking at his face I know that he wants nothing more than to stake Spike's sorry ass – or rather, heart. A stake through the heart kills vamps. A stake to the ass would just hurt.

Spike just looks impatient, but I can tell that he's worried that I might decide to end his existence, after all.

I sigh. "I agree with Willow. He gets to stalk another day."

Spike smirks. Giles looks reluctant but nods and lets him go. Xander's face pales. "What? Buffy, are you serious? He almost got us killed!"

"He's tried to kill us before," I point out. "And not only did he save us, but he saved me from a potentially bad relationship."

"Riley?" Xander looks even more disbelieving.

And so does Willow. "But I thought you were gonna get back together? Spike got between you two-"

"All Spike did was point out the problems that were already there," I say. "He didn't make those problems magically exist. I've gotta face the facts; Riley doesn't respect me enough to believe that I can handle myself, he never really understood me or the Slayer gig, and honestly, we barely have anything in common. I was never invested in our relationship. He was just there and willing and I used him, because you guys said that he would be good for me and that I needed someone normal." I sigh. "I really love you guys, but I choose who I date. I didn't choose Anya or Tara; you chose them yourselves. I want to make that same choice instead of dating some guy I don't even like because _you_ guys want me to."

Willow avoids my gaze. "We just wanted to see you happy, Buffy."

"I know," I tell her. "And Riley is a nice guy – just not the one for me."

I turn and see him talking to his superior. I hope he's not asking to be honourably discharged, because there won't be anything waiting for him on the other side. He belongs in the army; he's happy there.

I cross the room, all the way trying to decide what I'm going to say to him.

* * *

 _6 months later…_

The vamp dies with a startled cry and I brush his dusty remains from my shirt. "So Glory was a shape shifter?"

"There's no other explanation." Spike stakes the vampire he's fighting. "One minute she's a bitch with a bad perm, the next she's that hospital wanker who helped out with your mum."

I shudder. "I can't believe I let him get that close to us. And he seemed like such a nice guy."

"So did Peaches. And Cardboard."

He's got a point. People aren't who we think they are. I thought Angel was a perfect hero, but then I found out he's nothing more than a twisted psychopath – who used to be a drunken, whoring layabout – who's been cursed with a soul that's probably not his own. I thought Riley was a nice, dependably guy until I saw him when he got crazy jealous and I realized he doesn't respect me at all.

But it works both ways. I though Spike was a soulless murderer until I saw him taking care of my family. He holds the ability to love; he loved Drusilla for over a century. Getting over Angel opened my eyes to that.

He's shared that ability to love with my family, and I can trust him.

"So Ben was an average Joe Normal by day, crazy powerful demon by night?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Ben Wilkinson was probably an alias. Glory must've needed a day job to pay bills. And goin' around lookin' like she normally does would attract attention, 'specially from you. It was a way to hide, I s'pose. She was still demon in either form, else I wouldn't have been able to kill her."

That makes sense, but… "How did you manage that, anyway? I could barely bruise her before."

"Maybe changing form takes a lot of energy out of her." He shrugs again. "Don't know why you're so curious about this. She's gone, the Bit's safe, your mum's recoverin' and everything's back to normal."

I smile at his words. Everything's back to normal – or as normal as my life can be. Glory's now dead, saving Giles a potential trip to the Council headquarters in England. Dawn's safe, and now I may never have to tell her what she really is. And Mom's recovering from her operation. Everything's right in the world again.

And as for the things that aren't back to the way they were… Well, I kind of like the recent changes. At least now I'm dating a guy who actually respects me both as a person and as a Slayer.

Spike and I share a smile before I lean in and kiss him.


End file.
